So in the past week we have announced our pregnancy to both of our mothers. My mother was immediately so excited for us and had a smile on her face for the rest of the time I was with her that evening. When we told my mother-in-law, it was a very different experience. My husband told her that we would be "adding another one to the mix" when we were having a conversation about children. She turned to me and asked if I was pregnant. I said yes and she then followed with "Was this a planned pregnancy?". Okay I know that may not be offensive to some people, but it is to me. No matter how you say it, I don't think it is appropriate to ask if a pregnancy was planned or if the couple was trying. She didn't mean it to come out the way it did, but it sounded a little concerned and curious all at the same time. When people ask if it was planned, they make it seem like you shouldn't be having a baby at that time. I tried to ignore that it bothered me and just went along since I knew she didn't mean it the way it came out. She continued to ask a bunch of questions, so I just ignored it for the time being. She was in tears (happy tears I think) by the end and congratulated both of us, but the comment lingered. There were a couple times I wished we hadn't said anything after that reaction, and it makes me hesitant in sharing the news with other family. We will definitely wait for a bit.
That reaction got me thinking about announcing a pregnancy and the different reactions that occur. With our first pregnancy we got some mixed responses because we were only 7-8 months into our marriage when we announced it. A relative responded with "But you just got married". For some reason people think that they know the best timeline for when you should have a baby, and their opinions show through in their responses. I believe that it is okay to think what you want, but that you should be tactful in how you respond. After all, the pregnancy may not mean a lot to you, but it means a lot to the people who are sharing it with you. Voicing your opinion or asking if the pregnancy was planned, can be taken offensively and only hurt the feelings of the parents-to-be. There have been a few pregnancies that I have been less than excited about, but it was never my place to say anything negative to the expectant mothers or fathers.
It seems like with any pregnancy you are going to have a variety of responses just remember that sometimes people don't filter responses and those responses may hurt. Just be prepared and remember that the only people who need to be excited about your pregnancy are you and your significant other.
So far I am just starting to feel a little morning sickness. This is nothing like what I felt with my first pregnancy, and it makes me a little nervous, while at the same time, thankful. With my first pregnancy, my morning sickness was a constant reminder that I was pregnant and I didn't worry as much about miscarrying because I ALWAYS felt sick. With this one, the thought of miscarriage is lying heavily on my mind since I don't have that overly obvious symptom. I still feel exhausted and like I could nap at any moment, but that could easily be justified by a bad night of sleep. Only 9 days now until our ultrasound so we can confirm everything is okay...
All I can think about this morning is how good a Jalapeño would taste. All the while I feel nauseas and a little dizzy. Thank you pregnancy for your lovely symptoms! I still don't feel nearly as sick as I did with DD which makes me start wondering if we will have a boy this time around. Maybe my body has done pregnancy once before so it is simply adjusting better? Maybe it's because I take my prenatal vitamins and other medications at night instead of in the morning... Either way it is crazy to me how good I feel compared to last time. I know this could mean that my lack of pregnancy symptoms is a sign that the pregnancy is not developing well, but I know I need to remain hopeful and not stress about this.
A friend of mine mentioned the Chinese lunar calender for predicting gender and mentioned that she has friends who swear by it. It seems like, in general, it is more right than wrong. All three calendars were right on with my daughter being a girl, but all three did not match up for this baby. I tried 2 where I put in my actual birth date and the conception date and tried one where I compared my age and conception month. The more specific ones both said this baby will be a boy and the general one said it would be a girl....Guess you can't completely rely on those! Here are a couple if you want to check them out yourself!
http://www.holodeck.com/pregnancy/chinese-cal.html - a more general version
http://www.thelaboroflove.com/chart/pred.html - a more specific version
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