Gender disappointment is a real issue that no one really talks about. It ranges in severity and can be anything from a slight disappointment over having one gender over the other, to feeling devastated about having a specific gender. These feelings are completely normal, and it is okay to be disappointed to find out you are having a girl when you wanted a boy or vice-versa.
People don't openly talk about gender disappointment, but it is real and many women experience it. It is nothing to feel guilty about. The guilt only makes it worse. Many times, once the baby is born the gender doesn't matter anymore because the couple falls head over heals in love with the baby.
Sometimes, this isn't the case. Recently I heard of gender disappointment occurring after a baby is born. This makes sense to me especially if a couple doesn't know the gender of the baby and they are really hoping for one over the other. That dream of a specific gender can linger past birth. It doesn't mean that a couple doesn't love their child just as much as if it were the gender they were hoping for. It just means that their dreams about a specific gender were pushed a little farther out of reach
Expecting couples always hear "as long as the baby is healthy, nothing else matters." I disagree. While being healthy is the number one priority, other things do matter. The experience matters, and how a couple feels matters. These are things that will stick with them forever. Though you can't always change the outcome, it is possible to learn to accept it and to move on. I wish people would talk about this more and let more couples know they aren't alone if they feel this way. It is completely normal.
What are your thoughts? Did you experience any gender disappointment?
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
I Failed My One Hour Glucose Test
Right around my 28th week of pregnancy I took the one hour glucose tolerance test (GTT) to check for Gestational Diabetes. A lot of women dread this test because of the tasty orange drink (sense the sarcasm?), or Glucola, that needs to be consumed before a blood draw. Personally, I don't mind the orange drink. It is overloaded with sugar and doesn't make you feel the best, but it beats the taste of Pepto bismol in my book! Really, I think it tastes like flat orange soda with extra sugar added.
With my first pregnancy, I passed the GTT with flying colors. Not so much this time around. The day of the test I consumed a lot of sugar. My pregnant mind was craving sugary sweets well before I needed to drink the Glucola. For breakfast I had an icing covered donut with a sugary coffee. then I ate a full candy bar, and for lunch I had a Chimichanga that was loaded with sugar and carbs. These were not my finest moments, but for some reason on that day, I decided to give into my cravings. I prepared for the glucose tolerance test and drank the Glucola an hour before my appointment.
I went in a little nervous that what I ate would affect the results, but other women had told me that what I ate would not. Boy, were they wrong! I failed my one hour glucose test. At first my doctor said that my levels were "a little elevated". Little did I know, that later I would find out I failed miserably.
I ended up taking the three hour glucose test with 14 hours of fasting before hand and passed it with flying colors. My levels were wonderful and the test proved I didn't have Gestational Diabetes. The three hour test is a lot like the one hour test, except that you fast for 10-14 hours before hand, get your blood drawn, drink the Glucola, then have your blood drawn every hour for three hours afterwards. Because it is a fasting test, it is much more accurate. My doctor told me later that she was almost surprised that my test results came back so good because of how bad my results were with my first test.
She then told me what other women did not; that my results were affected by what I ate that day. When I explained what I had consumed, she laughed and said she now understood why I failed.
Lesson Learned: Do not load up on sugar before a glucose test
With my first pregnancy, I passed the GTT with flying colors. Not so much this time around. The day of the test I consumed a lot of sugar. My pregnant mind was craving sugary sweets well before I needed to drink the Glucola. For breakfast I had an icing covered donut with a sugary coffee. then I ate a full candy bar, and for lunch I had a Chimichanga that was loaded with sugar and carbs. These were not my finest moments, but for some reason on that day, I decided to give into my cravings. I prepared for the glucose tolerance test and drank the Glucola an hour before my appointment.
I went in a little nervous that what I ate would affect the results, but other women had told me that what I ate would not. Boy, were they wrong! I failed my one hour glucose test. At first my doctor said that my levels were "a little elevated". Little did I know, that later I would find out I failed miserably.
I ended up taking the three hour glucose test with 14 hours of fasting before hand and passed it with flying colors. My levels were wonderful and the test proved I didn't have Gestational Diabetes. The three hour test is a lot like the one hour test, except that you fast for 10-14 hours before hand, get your blood drawn, drink the Glucola, then have your blood drawn every hour for three hours afterwards. Because it is a fasting test, it is much more accurate. My doctor told me later that she was almost surprised that my test results came back so good because of how bad my results were with my first test.
She then told me what other women did not; that my results were affected by what I ate that day. When I explained what I had consumed, she laughed and said she now understood why I failed.
Lesson Learned: Do not load up on sugar before a glucose test
Friday, December 3, 2010
Nursing During Pregnancy
A common misconception about getting pregnant is that you have to stop nursing your first child. I think about when I first heard this notion and believed that you couldn't keep nursing while you were pregnant or that you had to stop by the end of your first trimester
I kind of wanted to smack someone when I hear that now. You can absolutely breastfeed while you are pregnant! I heard all kinds of stories about how if you get pregnant your milk immediately dries up and you can't breastfeed (this can happen to some women, though it doesn't happen to the majority). I also heard stories about how breastfeeding depletes all nutrition for your growing baby or your nursing child. Though it is true that it can take the nutrition away from you. Your body is going to put creating breast milk and growing that baby first, leaving you with whatever nutrients are left. If you choose, you can nurse your first child all the way through your pregnancy and tandem nurse both of children when the second is born.
A few thoughts about nursing during pregnancy:
I nursed my first child through the first trimester of my second pregnancy. Shortly into the second trimester, she lost interest in nursing and weaned herself. Whether it was due to the flavor change of the milk or just her getting annoyed having to sit too long, I don't know. Regardless, it was a great experience, and I am so glad that I got the proper information so I didn't have to stop before both of us were ready.
I kind of wanted to smack someone when I hear that now. You can absolutely breastfeed while you are pregnant! I heard all kinds of stories about how if you get pregnant your milk immediately dries up and you can't breastfeed (this can happen to some women, though it doesn't happen to the majority). I also heard stories about how breastfeeding depletes all nutrition for your growing baby or your nursing child. Though it is true that it can take the nutrition away from you. Your body is going to put creating breast milk and growing that baby first, leaving you with whatever nutrients are left. If you choose, you can nurse your first child all the way through your pregnancy and tandem nurse both of children when the second is born.
A few thoughts about nursing during pregnancy:
- Make sure you stay hydrated and drink plenty of water. Your body needs to increase blood volume for the growing baby and needs to produce milk so it makes sense that your body would need more water. Your milk supply can diminish if you don't drink enough water when you aren't expecting, so it is even more important now to make sure you are hydrated.
- Make sure you eat nutritiously and be sure to eat enough. Again, both the baby and your child are using up the vital nutrition they need to grow and thrive, so you aren't getting as much as you may need to keep your energy level up and to keep you healthy. Not to mention, if you don't eat enough, your milk supply can suffer.
- Make sure to continue taking your prenatal vitamin. This is providing your body with the essentials you are likely not getting from your food.
- Your first child might wean themselves around the 2nd trimester due to the milk changing to colostrum. Some children are very sensitive to the flavor change and others continue nursing without noticing.
I nursed my first child through the first trimester of my second pregnancy. Shortly into the second trimester, she lost interest in nursing and weaned herself. Whether it was due to the flavor change of the milk or just her getting annoyed having to sit too long, I don't know. Regardless, it was a great experience, and I am so glad that I got the proper information so I didn't have to stop before both of us were ready.
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