My Mother-in-Law Is Driving the Nust!
We all have those days when we want to scream this from the top of a mountain. I am sure we have all said this a few times…or more. Maybe it isn’t your Mother-In-Law, maybe you want to scream that your Mom, Aunt, Sister, or friend is driving you crazy. Today we are going to focus on in-laws…Mother-In-Laws specifically. Our in-laws as well as others sometimes get too involved too in our parenting or have too much input and it can drive you nuts! Often it is the Mother-In-Law that really drives you crazy. I think this stems from the relationship with a Mother-In-Law. You just aren’t as comfortable or as close as you are to your own mother. You can’t just tell them to stop intruding without hurting their feelings. This seems to be much easier with your own mother. But really, letting them get to you can make you feel like less of a parent or a bad parent. You should not feel like either. You are the best person to parent your own child.
There is nothing that makes you feel less like a good parent than having your mother or mother in law critique your parenting. Not to mention it drives you nuts and can put a major strain on your relationship.
We have all been there…”Are you going to put her in THAT?”, “It is too cold for her”, “are you sure you want to do it that way?” We have all heard it at one time or another and this is one of my biggest pet peeves. Moms are always going to be Moms, and they feel like they can step in at any time with their input. It may not even be your mom or Mother-In-Law. It turns out that when you are trying to get pregnant, are pregnant, or have a baby, everyone has input and opinions.
Here are some ways to handle the dreaded opinions and inputs.
1. Listen to what they say, but do what you want. Hear the person out, but it doesn’t mean you need to do it. Sometimes getting defensive causes more problems or refuting what they have to say causes conflict and sometimes additional stress that you don’t need.
2. Tell them that you appreciate their advice, but that you have your own ideas about how you would like to do things. Mothers and Mother-In-Laws need to respect that you need to experience your life the way you want to.
Sometimes these things don’t work, or you are so offended that you snap. Try to breathe and think before you speak. There are many times that if I said what I was actually thinking, I would have hurt my relationship with my Mother-In-Law or the person giving me advice. I am one to listen to what they say but do what I want. I allow them to chatter all they want and then do as I please. After all, a mother knows what is best for her own child. Remember to trust your instincts and your feelings, and try to ignore those nagging comments that cause stress in your life.